trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
