Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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