a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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