is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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