the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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