Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You pole danced in your parka.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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