Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
