no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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