Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
