her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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