Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
