didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
