they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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