Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize