East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
