I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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