too bad you live with your parents still
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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