We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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