moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
We left the knife in your bed.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
