Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Floor bacon is actually really good
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