Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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