still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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