He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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