Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
