Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
