Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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