Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i just had sex bonerless
I could make wine with my vomit
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
