The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
