I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
