chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
