she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
