remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
