I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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