He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
