Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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