He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
