I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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