Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
