Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
