the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
