5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
