So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
