I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
