You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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