Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
