my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
so much tequila, so little girl.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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