ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
