I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
