So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
