i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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