Whod you bang
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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