VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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