I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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