just come out here and I will go home with you...
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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