we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
