And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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