I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
