So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
