I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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