I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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