My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
